VOL. I · NO. 8603SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Russia held its first State Duma election since the full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Officials say the same five parties are set to return, with the ruling party on track to retain its majority.

Filed 40m ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Song of the Volga Boatmen
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: gdsteam · CC BY 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Russia's State Duma election produced a projected United Russia majority with 57.19% of the party-list vote, followed by the Communist Party, the Liberal Democratic Party, New People, and A Just Russia, which cleared the 5% threshold. Ten parties competed after the Supreme Court removed an eleventh, Yabloko, from the ballot entirely.

Turnout was reported above 56%, the highest since 2003, aided by online voting the authorities pushed hard, though the portal voters abroad needed was down throughout the voting period. In Moscow, paper ballots ran out for hours because of what officials called a 'minor glitch,' leaving voters queued and some unable to vote when polls closed.

Election officials claimed 100 million cyberattacks on election infrastructure, an 8,300% jump from 2024, and accused an unnamed rival party representative of planting malware, while independent observers reported over 900 complaints, including bans from polling stations, bribery attempts, and detentions. Overnight, Ukraine launched what Russia said was nearly 2,000 drones at Moscow, killing three people in the region and damaging buildings and the Kapotnya refinery.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
An election where the incumbent party wins by landslide margins, one party gets removed by the court beforehand, ballots mysteriously run dry in the capital, and the only cyberattack numbers come from the people counting the votes is not a mystery novel, it is Tuesday in Moscow. Calling a multi-hour ballot shortage a 'minor glitch' is the kind of phrase you'd expect from a landlord explaining why the heat's been off since November. The turnout figures deserve about as much trust as a fisherman's tape measure.
Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Song of the Volga Boatmen · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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