VOL. I · NO. 8625MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

The United States Is Not Ready for the Arctic Age

Filed 1h ago · Via Foreign Policy · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Our Story Begins
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: gdsteam · CC BY 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Rana Foroohar's new book ‘Sea Change’ argues the United States is badly unprepared for Arctic competition even as melting ice opens access to shipping lanes, fisheries, energy, minerals, and seafloor cable routes potentially worth hundreds of billions of dollars. The review notes Trump wrote ‘WE DON'T NEED CANADA, THEY NEED US!’ on TruthSocial in late August while announcing new tariffs on Canadian exports, even though the US depends on Canada for roughly 4 million barrels of crude oil daily plus electricity, aluminum, and auto parts.

The review points out that Trump's Arctic moves, including talk of annexing Greenland and ordering 11 icebreakers built via no-bid contracts after a golf game, undercut the independence they're meant to project. Those icebreakers, the piece notes, are being built by a Finnish shipbuilder owned by a British company with Canadian roots, meaning the vessel meant to assert American self-sufficiency can't be built without the very neighbor being antagonized.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
You can't pick a fight with the guy who owns the plow and then act surprised when your driveway doesn't get cleared. Calling Canada needy while ordering ships built through a company with Canadian roots is the kind of contradiction that would get a man laughed out of the hardware store, let alone the Arctic Council. The ice is melting fast; the strategy, judging by this, is melting faster.
Source: Read the original at Foreign Policy → Scored: Our Story Begins · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
MORE FROM THE DESK
THE EDITION OF MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2026 → · THE ARCHIVE
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Archive · Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky