VOL. I · NO. 8568SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

US Democrats choose South Carolina to kick off 2028 primaries

Filed 1w ago · Via arabnews.com · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Glee Club Polka
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

The Democratic National Committee voted Saturday to open the 2028 presidential primary with South Carolina on January 22, followed by Nevada on February 1, then New Hampshire, New Mexico, Michigan and Virginia.

Party chair Ken Martin said the calendar reflects the party's values and will help retake the White House, a claim untethered to any actual polling on calendar order.

New Hampshire, bound by state law to vote first regardless of what national committees decide, previously ignored this exact sequencing in 2024, prompting officials to now threaten steeper penalties for noncompliance.

Iowa's caucus law presents the same problem, leaving the tidy new schedule's actual first-in-the-nation status about as settled as it was before the vote.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A party that cannot enforce its own primary calendar against two small, mostly white states is asking voters to trust it with the executive branch. The rebranding toward diversity is fine as messaging, but messaging is not the same as compliance, and New Hampshire has already shown it will do what it wants regardless of what gets voted on in a hotel ballroom.
Source: Read the original at arabnews.com → Scored: Glee Club Polka · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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