VOL. I · NO. 8566FRIDAY, AUGUST 14, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

US firms that kept DEI policies despite ‘go woke, go broke’ threats thrived

Filed 1w ago · Via The Guardian · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Waltz of Treachery
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

A new study analyzed S&P 500 firms after Trump's January executive order targeting corporate DEI programs and found companies that kept their diversity policies performed just as well financially as those that scrapped them. Costco, Apple and Delta held firm while Google, McDonald's, Walmart and Goldman Sachs fell in line with the administration's threats. Researcher Jacob Grumbach used 'abnormal returns' data to isolate the effect and found no financial penalty for noncompliance.

The panic began in 2023 with boycotts against Bud Light and Target and the Supreme Court's affirmative action ruling, then intensified when Trump's executive orders arrived. Many firms quietly abandoned DEI commitments made after George Floyd's murder, sometimes drawing backlash from the other direction, as when Twin Cities Pride dropped Target as a sponsor. Grumbach says the findings suggest corporations have more room to resist executive branch pressure than they assumed.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
So the emperor's new anti-woke wardrobe was mostly just corporate cowardice dressed up as fiscal prudence. Companies that spent two years frantically deleting diversity statements to appease a White House and a boycott campaign apparently could have just... not, and nobody would have noticed on the balance sheet. Someone owes Cracker Barrel an apology, or at least a hairpin allocation of the money it spent panicking.
Source: Read the original at The Guardian → Scored: Waltz of Treachery · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire