VOL. I · NO. 8585WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Ed Markey wards off Senate primary challenger in Massachusetts

Filed 36m ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Medieval Loop One
Alexander Nakarada · creatorchords.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Billy Hathorn · CC BY-SA 3.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Ed Markey won Massachusetts' Democratic Senate primary by roughly 30 points over Congressman Seth Moulton, who built his campaign chiefly around Markey's age and a strained attempt to link him to Jeffrey Epstein. Markey pulled over 571,000 votes to Moulton's 308,000, drawing on endorsements from Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and Ayanna Pressley, and will face Republican John Deaton in November.

Down the ballot, Dan Koh won the crowded 6th District primary with backing from Biden, Harris, and Buttigieg, while veteran Stephen Lynch — the delegation's most conservative Democrat — survived a progressive primary challenge by about 10 points, helped by independents crossing over in the state's semi-closed system.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
An 80-something senator beating a challenger whose main pitch was 'I have more birthdays left' says less about vigor and more about how thin an argument 'new blood' is without a platform attached. Massachusetts Democrats apparently wanted specifics, not vibes, and Moulton's concession speech arrived suspiciously fast for someone who thought his framing would work.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Medieval Loop One · Alexander Nakarada · CC BY 4.0
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