VOL. I · NO. 8599WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Monopolist Google gets ‘behavioral’ guardrails and a monitoring plan

Filed 1h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Fox Tale Waltz Part 1 Instrumental
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Adriaen van de Venne · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

A federal judge in Virginia has ordered Google to submit to behavioral remedies rather than a breakup, after finding the company illegally monopolized ad tech markets. U.S. District Judge Leonie Brinkema's memorandum calls for a Monitor and Technical Committee to oversee compliance, data-sharing rules, a ban on discriminatory bidding, and integration requirements between Google's ad exchange and rival publisher ad servers.

Brinkema rejected the Justice Department's push for divestiture, saying its rationale amounted to distrust that Google would comply with a court order. She sided with Google's proposed six-year term for the judgment over the DOJ's request for more than double that, though she noted the court can extend it if compliance falls short.

Critics, including the Open Markets Institute's Barry Lynn, have called the ruling proof the judiciary is abdicating its antitrust duties. The case, filed in 2023, previously resulted in a finding that Google violated antitrust law; a separate search-engine antitrust case against Google also ended without a divestiture order.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A company gets caught running a monopoly and the punishment is a committee and a promise to behave for six years. That is like catching the neighbor's dog in your henhouse and asking him to build a nicer fence around his own yard. Google has heard this kind of talk before and the hens are still missing.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Fox Tale Waltz Part 1 Instrumental · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky