VOL. I · NO. 8592WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Michigan Department of Corrections to add over 800 high-security beds, 30 accessible rooms

Filed 47m ago · Via Michigan Advance · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Banjos Unite
Alexander Nakarada · creatorchords.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Harrison Keely · CC BY 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

The Michigan Department of Corrections announced it will add 870 high-security beds and upgrade 30 rooms for accessibility across several facilities, with new units at Oaks and St. Louis Correctional Facilities targeted for completion by 2030 and other conversions finished by the end of 2026. Director Heidi Washington said the changes would create safer facilities and 'the most advanced and effective correctional environment available.'

Byron Osborn, president of the union representing the state's corrections officers, called it a step in the right direction but said the multi-year timeline offers no immediate relief given ongoing prisoner assaults and homicides. He noted St. Louis Correctional Facility already carries a 14.5% staff vacancy rate, and the department has not explained how it intends to staff the new high-security units on top of that shortfall.

Citizens for Prison Reform, an advocacy group, welcomed the accessibility upgrades but questioned what the department is doing about the underlying causes driving the need for more high-security housing, including staffing, programming, and mental health care.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Building new cells for the worst behavior problems sounds proactive until you remember the guards working the current cells can't get relief shifts covered. Announcing a unit that opens in 2030 to fix a stabbing problem happening this month is a bit like promising a bigger umbrella for next year's storm. The department's own numbers on vacancy rates are sitting right there in the story, so it's not as if anyone had to dig for the catch.
Source: Read the original at Michigan Advance → Scored: Banjos Unite · Alexander Nakarada · CC BY 4.0
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