VOL. I · NO. 8576MONDAY, AUGUST 24, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Britain said it will help Kyiv build Storm Shadow missiles in Ukraine. Hours later, the Kremlin announced that Russian forces are already working to find the production sites.

Filed 1d ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Pixel Peeker Polka - faster
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Baker, Cornelia, 1855- · No restrictions · via Wikimedia Commons

On Ukraine's 35th independence anniversary, Britain's Defense Ministry said it would give Kyiv technology to produce Storm Shadow missiles domestically, following France's earlier license for the identical SCALP missile. Britain's new prime minister, Andy Burnham, made the announcement during his first visit to Kyiv, joined by leaders from Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Finland, Romania, Moldova and Luxembourg.

The missiles require full factories capable of building jet engines, rocket fuel and guidance systems — infrastructure Ukraine has struggled to complete before, including a Bayraktar drone plant destroyed under construction by Russian strikes. A related rocket-fuel plant in Denmark has also been delayed.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov called the move a sign Britain 'is taking part in this war' and said Russian forces are working to identify the production sites before they exist. Zelensky, in a separate anniversary address, said Ukraine's long-range strikes are cutting into Russian logistics and revenue, and pressed China to restrain Russia's nuclear rhetoric.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Announcing a missile factory in a country currently being shelled for missile factories is either defiance or wishful thinking, and recent history suggests it's mostly the latter. The license transfer photographs well at an anniversary ceremony; whether it survives contact with the next wave of strikes is a separate question nobody in the press release seems eager to answer.
Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Pixel Peeker Polka - faster · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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