VOL. I · NO. 8583MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
COURTS ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Man sentenced over fake Nancy Guthrie ransom

Filed 57m ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Canon in D Major
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Joe Ravi · CC BY-SA 3.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Derrick Anthony Callella, 42, was sentenced to five years' probation for sending fake ransom texts to the family of Nancy Guthrie, the 84-year-old Tucson woman who has been missing since February and remains unfound seven months later. Callella pleaded guilty in July, admitting he sent the messages, including one asking Savannah Guthrie and her husband 'Did you get the bitcoin?', after following news coverage of real ransom notes already forwarded to the FBI.

Callella blamed methamphetamine addiction for his actions and was ordered into residential treatment after testing positive for the drug the day of his plea. He was tracked down through a VoIP number he had registered to his own name and email, and received the lightest recommended sentence — two concurrent five-year terms for harassment by telecommunications device.

Investigators say Guthrie's Ring camera was disconnected around the time of her disappearance, her pacemaker app went offline shortly after, and blood matching her DNA was found on her porch. The FBI is offering a $50,000 reward and continues to investigate other ransom notes, at least one of which — claiming she had died — was determined to be fake.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Canon in D Major · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire