VOL. I · NO. 8584TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ABSURDITY:

‘Drone-infested skies are no place for civilian aviation’: Zelensky tells airlines still flying into Moscow to get out, days after ordering 1,000 drone attacks a day

Filed 49m ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Dvorak Polka
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Giovanni Battista Quadrone · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky publicly warned airlines, insurers, and operators using Russian airports that Russian airspace is becoming unsafe due to the scale of drone activity. He said Ukraine does not target civilian aviation directly, but that its own strikes mean the airspace will effectively close.

The warning follows Zelensky's own order for Ukrainian forces to launch 1,000 long-range drones a day at Russia, announced days earlier. He framed the resulting danger as an inevitability for airlines to account for rather than a consequence of his own directive.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Dvorak Polka · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire