VOL. I · NO. 8578WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Dan Sullivan – The Other One – Will Advance To General Election

Filed 13h ago · Via HuffPost · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Merry Go Slower - Distressed
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Rijksmuseum · CC0 · via Wikimedia Commons

A retired Petersburg teacher named Dan J. Sullivan will appear on Alaska's November ballot alongside incumbent Republican Sen. Dan Sullivan and Democrat Mary Peltola, after the state Supreme Court overturned an election official's ruling that had kept him off the primary ballot over claims his candidacy was meant to confuse voters. Those claims were driven by the incumbent senator and his allies.

The Division of Elections ultimately listed the challenger as Daniel J. Sullivan Jr. with no party affiliation, while the incumbent appears as Dan S. Sullivan, Republican. President Trump endorsed the incumbent and called the challenger's candidacy a trick on voters; the challenger responded by criticizing Trump's tariff priorities over grocery and housing costs.

Under Alaska's ranked-choice system, the challenger's presence could meaningfully affect the outcome of one of the country's most closely watched Senate races, depending on how his voters rank their remaining choices.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at HuffPost → Scored: Merry Go Slower - Distressed · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire