VOL. I · NO. 8599WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Russian general who briefed Putin on capture of Kostiantynivka killed in Ukraine

Filed 1h ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Comic Hero
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: UNCTAD · CC BY-SA 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Russian Major General Anton Grunis, commander of the 4th Motorized Rifle Brigade, was killed on September 12, 2026 in Ukraine's Donetsk region, according to Ukrainian commander Robert Brovdi and later confirmed by Russian Lieutenant General Apti Alaudinov. Brovdi says a drone strike by Ukraine's Unmanned Systems Forces did it, making Grunis the seventh senior Russian officer killed by that unit.

Grunis reportedly told Putin in July that his forces had captured the city of Kostiantynivka, a claim Brovdi notes remains untrue since Russian forces still do not fully control the city. Putin at the time praised him with a flourish about his Lithuanian surname and Kazan birthplace.

Weeks before his death, Russia's Defense Ministry awarded Grunis the Gold Star medal, Hero of Russia, for what it called courage and heroism. Alaudinov's statement on his death offered no details beyond calling him a hero who fulfilled his sacred duty.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A man gets a medal for taking a city, then gets killed while that city is still not his. That is not a paperwork error, that is the whole war in one sentence. Somebody up the chain keeps handing out gold stars for maps that do not match the ground.
Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Comic Hero · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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