President Trump Delivers Historic Results for the American People in Under Two Years

Filed 50m ago · Via White House · The Buffoon Desk

THIS STORY IS SCORED

Royal Banana

Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

Photo: The White House from Washington, DC · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The White House released a self-authored summary of Trump's not-quite-two-years in office, crediting the administration with sealing the border, historic crime lows, an energy boom, tax cuts, a rebuilt military, and, for good measure, taking on the processed-food complex.

No independent data, agency figures, or citations accompany any of these claims; the document is structured as a list of assertions rather than a report. It also declares Washington newly focused on merit and common sense, a claim that grades itself.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK

A report card you fill out yourself always comes back straight A's. My neighbor's tomatoes are the biggest in the county too, if you only ask him. When the grades come from somebody who doesn't sign the paycheck, then we'll talk.

Source: Read the original at White House → Scored: Royal Banana · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0

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