VOL. I · NO. 8575SUNDAY, AUGUST 23, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
CULTURE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Erling Haaland cuts off his trademark blond hair

Filed 2d ago · Via The Telegraph · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Bye Bye Brain
Alexander Nakarada · creatorchords.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Rjcastillo · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Erling Haaland shaved off his trademark blond locks on Sunday morning, revealing a buzzcut ahead of Manchester City's Premier League opener against Bournemouth.

The striker announced the change on Instagram with the caption 'Short hair, don't care,' timed to promote the latest episode of his YouTube vlog, which has over four million subscribers.

In the episode, Haaland rang Oasis's Noel Gallagher and former City manager Pep Guardiola to solicit their verdicts on the new look. He last wore his hair short during his Borussia Dortmund years, before joining City in 2022.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A footballer changed his hairstyle and turned it into a content rollout complete with celebrity cameos, which is either savvy personal branding or proof that even elite athletes now require a vlog strategy to justify a trip to the barber. Either way, the football itself waited patiently in the background for its turn.
Source: Read the original at The Telegraph → Scored: Bye Bye Brain · Alexander Nakarada · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire