VOL. I · NO. 8590MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Labor Day, 2026

Filed 1h ago · Via White House · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Entrance of the Gladiators
Fučík — U.S. Marine Band · Public Domain
Photo: President (2001-2009 : Bush). Office of Management and Admin · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The White House released a Labor Day proclamation crediting the administration with the largest tax cuts in American history, over 900,000 new jobs, six straight months of manufacturing expansion, and a wave of companies supposedly returning home because of tariffs.

The proclamation also previews a new fee on H-1B visa petitions, framed as a way to push companies toward hiring Americans first. It designates September 7, 2026 as Labor Day and calls on officials to hold ceremonies honoring workers.

Missing from the document: any independently verified figure, any acknowledgment of price effects from the tariffs it celebrates, or any worker quoted saying they feel the resilience and prosperity described on their behalf.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Any outfit that has to declare its own tax cut the biggest in American history is standing awful close to the tape measure. And you notice the working people in this thing never get a line of their own, they just get spoken for, the way a landlord tells you how much you love the apartment. Six straight months of anything is a fine number, but nobody at the White House had to check it with a soul outside the building.
Source: Read the original at White House → Scored: Entrance of the Gladiators · Fučík — U.S. Marine Band · CC BY 4.0
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