VOL. I · NO. 8599WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

State colleges, preK-12 schools must implement AI guardrails before July

Filed 1h ago · Via Florida Phoenix · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Evil March
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: President.gov.ua · CC BY 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Florida's State Board of Education approved new rules requiring public school districts, charter schools, and the state's 28 college systems to amend internet safety policies with AI guardrails by July 1. Education Commissioner Henry Mack said the approach avoids both banning AI outright and allowing ‘unfettered access.’

Schools must notify parents when a teacher approves an AI tool, name the platform, and let parents object and request alternatives. PreK-5 tools face extra review for age-appropriateness, and the rules aim to keep AI from ‘replacing’ teacher judgment.

Gov. Ron DeSantis said in a news release that ‘Florida will not outsource childhood to a chatbot,’ and that the state won't accept tools that ‘hide from parents, harvest student data, grade kids in secret, or pretend to be a friend.’ The state college rule similarly leaves case-by-case AI decisions to individual faculty.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Calling a rulebook ‘one of the most comprehensive in the country’ before a single classroom has used it is a bit like bragging about a fence before you've checked whether it keeps anything out. The parts about notifying parents sound sensible enough; the bragging is the part that needs a second read.
Source: Read the original at Florida Phoenix → Scored: Evil March · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky