VOL. I · NO. 8586THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

A Judge Blocks Trump's New Bid To Curb Birthright Citizenship, Citing Supreme Court Precedent

Filed 3h ago · Via HuffPost · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Fiddles McGinty
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Charles McCain · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

A federal judge in Maryland issued a preliminary injunction blocking Trump's latest attempt to narrow birthright citizenship, this time framed around 'birth tourism' and alien enemy status. Judge Deborah Boardman ruled the case will stay blocked until a class-action lawsuit from immigrant families and advocacy groups is resolved.

This is the second Trump birthright citizenship order to be struck down; the Supreme Court killed the first version in June. The new order sought to deny citizenship to children of parents deemed connected to foreign embassies, organizations, or gangs, or who 'purchased or accessed' citizenship through travel.

Families told the court the administration had taken an expansive view of who counts as an alien enemy, sometimes based on speculation, leaving some parents afraid a distant relative's gang ties could cost their newborn citizenship. The administration argued the challenge was premature since enforcement guidance hadn't been issued; Boardman rejected that, writing the order commands agencies to deny documents regardless of what future guidance says.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Two tries, two losses, and the second one somehow tried to reach even further than the first, into embassy staff and extended family members who never asked for any of this. A judge had to point out, again, that the Fourteenth Amendment doesn't come with an asterisk the White House gets to draw in later. If at first you don't succeed at rewriting the Constitution, apparently you just try again with worse paperwork.
Source: Read the original at HuffPost → Scored: Fiddles McGinty · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire