VOL. I · NO. 8599WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

EU offers to make Canada an ‘associate member’ as strains grow with US

Filed 2h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Tenebrous Brothers Carnival - Act Two
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Jacklee · CC BY-SA 3.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen invited Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, seated in the front row in Strasbourg, to make Canada the EU's first ‘associate member,’ a status not currently recognized under EU law. The move comes as both Canada and Europe navigate tariffs and disorienting policy shifts from Washington.

Under the proposed arrangement, Canada would participate in EU institutions without voting rights and would not be bound by EU laws, though all 27 member states would need to agree, and Carney faces resistance at home from the conservative opposition. Von der Leyen framed the pitch around shared views on AI, climate and defense, plus reduced reliance on the U.S. and China.

The rest of her speech leaned dark, blaming Russia for a drone found near a Ukrainian cargo plane at a German airport and calling for a new European Security Council. She also proposed banning social media for children under 13 and restricting it for those older, while insisting Big Tech's power is not as unstoppable as it seems.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Calling something an ‘associate member’ before the term has any legal meaning is a bit like naming your fence line before you've asked the neighbor if he'll sell the strip of land. It sounded good in the room, the applause says as much, but 27 governments still have to agree, and agreeing is not exactly Europe's specialty these days. Carney gets a nice ovation either way, which these days counts for more than it should.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Tenebrous Brothers Carnival - Act Two · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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