VOL. I · NO. 8612TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ABSURDITY:

Russia plans upgrade of Object 1335, key site in its nuclear triad — interview

Filed 1h ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Miri's Magic Dance
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: gdsteam · CC BY 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

An investigation by Danwatch, the Sunday Times, and the Dossier Center found that Russia is modernizing Object 1335, a hardened underground facility in the Urals tied to its Perimeter nuclear command system. An aviation market analyst told Radio NV the site is built to keep functioning even after a nearby nuclear detonation, with its own life support and electromagnetic pulse shielding.

The analyst suggested the upgrade signals Russia sees its deterrence architecture as outdated, and noted Ukrainian strikes on Russian long-range radar systems may have exposed vulnerabilities worth patching. Precise details of the bunker's interior remain classified.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: Miri's Magic Dance · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky