VOL. I · NO. 8583MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
COURTS ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

South Korea court gives Unification Church leader 2 years in prison

Filed 1h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
The Path of the Goblin King
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Thomas Davidson · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

A Seoul court sentenced Han Hak-ja, 83, leader of the Unification Church, to two years in prison for bribing officials including former first lady Kim Keon Hee with luxury items such as a designer handbag, in an alleged bid to secure policy favors. Prosecutors had sought 13 years; Han arrived for sentencing in a wheelchair, in hospital pajamas, and returned to the hospital afterward under a court-approved stay tied to health issues.

The church, which claims 10 million followers worldwide and holds business interests in media, education and food distribution, said it disagreed with the ruling and would appeal, denying Han directed or approved the bribery. Other allegations include funneling illegal funds to a former lawmaker now imprisoned for bribery.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: The Path of the Goblin King · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire