VOL. I · NO. 8588SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

ICE agent Christian Castro turns himself in on federal charge

Filed 46m ago · Via Michigan Advance · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Five Card Shuffle
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: The White House · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

ICE agent Christian Castro turned himself in Thursday on six federal false-statement charges after a January shooting in Minneapolis, where his shot passed through a closed door and hit Julio Cesar Sosa-Celis in the leg. Castro had claimed he was attacked with a broom and shovel by two men and a third who did not exist; surveillance footage showed no such assault happened, the scuffle lasted 11 seconds rather than the three minutes he described, and he was standing, not on the ground, when he fired.

The assistant U.S. attorney originally pursuing civil rights charges was reportedly ordered by Justice Department officials in Washington to downgrade the case, then was fired. Charging Castro only with lying spares the department from having to argue in court whether the shooting itself was justified.

Castro also faces Minnesota state charges including assault, but Texas Gov. Greg Abbott blocked his extradition and he was released from a Texas jail after 90 days despite a lawsuit from Minnesota's attorney general. Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty says he is expected to appear first in federal court in Texas before eventually facing Minnesota's federal court.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Fire the lawyer who wants the hard case and charge the easy one, and you have told everybody exactly how much you want to know. Eleven seconds on video against three minutes in the telling, and the government's chief worry is which state gets to look at him first. A man who invents a third attacker out of thin air is not usually the one you build a careful legal strategy around.
Source: Read the original at Michigan Advance → Scored: Five Card Shuffle · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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