VOL. I · NO. 8589SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Witkoff and Kushner to bring Putin’s views into upcoming Kyiv talks

Filed 1h ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Five Card Shuffle
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Zsaron · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Kremlin aide Yuri Ushakov says U.S. envoys Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner will bring Vladimir Putin's assessments into upcoming talks in Kyiv, following a three-hour, ten-minute meeting in Moscow the Kremlin called 'substantive, constructive and frank.' Ushakov claims the sides discussed both the war and potential large-scale U.S.-Russian business projects, and says the two sides formulated ideas on ending the war without disclosing what they are.

The Kremlin describes the meeting as useful for both sides and says Trump-Putin contacts will continue. There has been no independent confirmation from the U.S. delegation of any part of Ushakov's account.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When the only account of a meeting comes from the guy who benefits from you believing it, that is not reporting, that is a press release with extra steps. Ushakov hands out adjectives like 'substantive' and 'frank' the way a car lot hands out balloons, and somehow never gets around to saying what was actually agreed. Until Washington confirms a word of it, this is one man's homework, and he graded it himself.
Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: Five Card Shuffle · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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