VOL. I · NO. 8582SUNDAY, AUGUST 30, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

CIA chief proposed Trump-Zelenskyy-Putin summit during secret Moscow trip

Filed 2h ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Covert Affair
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Diplomatic Security Service from Washington, D.C., United St · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

CIA Director John Ratcliffe proposed a trilateral summit between Trump, Zelenskyy, and Putin during an unannounced Moscow visit, according to Axios sources, meeting with Russian intelligence chiefs Sergey Naryshkin and Alexander Bortnikov to gauge whether they could push Putin back to the table. Ukrainian officials were briefed on the proposal on Aug. 28, and Axios notes such a summit has been floated before, with Zelenskyy supportive and Putin refusing.

Trump publicly described the Moscow visit as 'semi-routine' and denied it concerned a Russian strike threat against the UK, even as other reporting suggested Ratcliffe delivered a stark intelligence assessment and warnings about a possible Russian mobilization. Meanwhile, Ukrainian officials say Putin has ordered planning for a new offensive toward Kyiv and Chernihiv, and Budanov suggested talks could resume in September.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A secret CIA trip to broker peace and a simultaneous order to plan a new offensive is either the strangest diplomacy on record or exactly what everyone should have expected by now. Calling that 'semi-routine' is the kind of understatement that only makes sense if routine has quietly come to mean something terrifying.
Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: Covert Affair · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire