VOL. I · NO. 8624SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Clean-up, power restoration mark the second day post-Hurricane Isaias

Filed 1h ago · Via Florida Phoenix · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Entrance of the Gladiators
Fučík — U.S. Marine Band · Public Domain
Photo: Thomas Woodtli from Zürich, Switzerland · CC BY-SA 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Hurricane Isaias made landfall near Destin Friday night with 105 mph winds, and two days later roughly 300,000 utility customers in the western Panhandle remained without power, most served by Florida Power & Light. Governor Ron DeSantis said the worst damage came inland in Santa Rosa and Escambia counties, where wind lifted roofs rather than the coastal surge officials had braced for. The statewide death toll stood at two: one woman killed by a falling tree, another from generator fumes in an enclosed garage.

DeSantis delivered the update outside a Milton Waffle House, flanked by Senator Ashley Moody and Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson, while a Santa Rosa sheriff reported no looting. Generators and state troopers kept traffic lights and intersections running, Publix and Target parking lots were busy, and schools expect to reopen Wednesday thanks to a fortuitously timed Columbus Day break. The state opened zero-interest bridge loans of up to $150,000 for citrus and cattle operations and is surveying business damage online.

DeSantis also used the briefing to defend pre-positioning the National Guard and search-and-rescue assets that ultimately weren't needed, saying critics shouldn't second-guess spending money on readiness before a storm hits.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Nobody is going to argue against keeping rescue crews on standby just in case, that's just sensible. But notice how the governor pivoted straight from 'the schools happened to already have Columbus Day off' to defending his own preparedness against imaginary critics nobody quoted. That's a fella answering a question nobody in the room asked, which usually means he's rehearsing the answer for later.
Source: Read the original at Florida Phoenix → Scored: Entrance of the Gladiators · Fučík — U.S. Marine Band · CC BY 4.0
MORE FROM THE DESK
WHITE HOUSE Hurricane Isaias brings wind, water and destruction · via Michigan Advance
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