VOL. I · NO. 8612TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ABSURDITY:

Ukraine's Third Army Corps reclaims 51 square kilometers and frees five towns in Donetsk Oblast

Filed 1h ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
The Builder
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: European Parliament · European Parliament · via Wikimedia Commons

Ukraine's Third Army Corps says it has retaken 51 square kilometers of territory in Donetsk Oblast, liberating the settlements of Nove, Ridkodub, Katerynivka, Karpivka, and Novomykhailivka, according to Brigadier General Andrii Biletskyi. That brings the total area recovered under the codenamed Operation Vivaldi to 176 square kilometers since it began, he said, with roughly 2,000 Russian casualties and over 250 prisoners taken in this phase alone.

Biletskyi said capturing the village of Nove, converted by Russian forces into a stronghold, was the operation's key objective because it controls high ground dictating the broader bridgehead. He claimed Russian forces were misdirected toward a different sector and burned through reserves there while missing the real thrust toward Nove.

The unit says it converted old Soviet-era BTR-60 armored carriers into unmanned remote-controlled explosive drones to break through fortified positions, and that some Russian units, including officers and artillery crews, surrendered en masse. Earlier phases of the operation reported roughly 1,500 additional Russian losses and over 12,000 destroyed drones, per the Third Army Corps.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: The Builder · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky