VOL. I · NO. 8605TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

State officials call for more funding to address chemical plume in Antrim County

Filed 49m ago · Via Michigan Advance · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Comic Plodding
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: The White House from Washington, DC · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

A trichloroethylene plume left behind by a Mancelona industrial plant in the 1960s is still spreading through Antrim County groundwater, now stretching 6.7 miles long and a mile and a half wide. State and local officials say they want to expand municipal water access for residents in its path rather than attempt a cleanup, which they say is too costly.

Michigan has spent roughly $32 million over two decades on monitoring, mapping, and water hookups, and is now seeking additional funding for the fall. More than 500 wells have tested positive for the chemical, and affected homeowners get bottled water in the meantime, described by officials themselves as a temporary fix rather than a solution.

The plume moves several hundred feet a year, and officials say they plan to add monitoring near Shanty Creek to catch further migration before it happens. TCE has already shown up in the Cedar River at levels experts call safe for swimming, which is the sort of reassurance that only exists because the alternative was worse.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Sixty years is a long time for a company's mess to still be somebody else's problem. The state's plan sounds sensible enough, pipe in clean water and keep an eye on the creek, but notice nobody's talking about making the plume go away, just about staying a step ahead of it. That's not a cleanup, that's a very long, very patient game of tag with a chemical that isn't tired yet.
Source: Read the original at Michigan Advance → Scored: Comic Plodding · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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