VOL. I · NO. 8621THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Detainees say fire alarms blare day and night at Arizona ICE facility, creating ‘cruel’ conditions

Filed 1h ago · Via Arizona Mirror · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Relent
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Official White House Photo by Pete Souza · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When the folks in charge say there's no alarm going off and you can hear it ringing over the phone, you've learned all you need to know about the rest of their answers. A fire alarm that never stops isn't warning anybody of anything anymore. It's just a way of making sure nobody inside gets a decent night's sleep, and the people running the place ought to have to answer for that in plain English.
Source: Read the original at Arizona Mirror → Scored: Relent · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
MORE FROM THE DESK
THE EDITION OF THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2026 → · THE ARCHIVE
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Archive · Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky