VOL. I · NO. 8594FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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CULTURE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

CDC vs. Pennsylvania: Why conflicting public health messages jeopardize public safety

Filed 43m ago · Via The Conversation · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Miri's Magic Dance
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Rjcastillo · CC BY 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Two infants died in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania in August 2026; the county coroner attributed one death to measles and called the other measles-associated, tracking with a ruptured spleen as the immediate cause.

Pennsylvania's governor announced the deaths and blamed falling vaccination rates; the CDC initially posted condolences using the state's own language, then reversed itself two days later after HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. suggested the deaths might be fabricated.

The CDC's dashboard now shows an asterisk instead of a death count, with a footnote saying no 2026 records list measles as the underlying cause, even though the agency counted measles-associated deaths during 2025 outbreaks in Texas and New Mexico without this hesitation.

HHS says it is now drafting a standardized case definition for measles deaths, mid-outbreak, for a single state's numbers.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Changing the rules in the middle of the count is the oldest move there is, and everybody who's ever watched a card game knows what it means. The counting was fine last year in Texas. It only got complicated when the number landed somewhere nobody wanted it. A footnote is a thin thing to put between yourself and two dead babies.
Source: Read the original at The Conversation → Scored: Miri's Magic Dance · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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