VOL. I · NO. 8606WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

After meeting U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov says Moscow won’t pause the war for Ukraine talks

Filed 1h ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Vanishing
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: European Parliament · CC BY 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov told the UN Security Council that Moscow will not halt its offensive in Ukraine during any negotiations, framing a pause as a European ploy to let Kyiv resupply. He said Russia remains open to talks toward what he called a “just peace.”

The statement followed an hour-long meeting with U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio at the UN General Assembly. Rubio told reporters the U.S. had invited Vladimir Putin to a G20 summit in Miami in December and called an energy ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine a difficult but worthwhile goal to pursue.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Refusing to stop shooting while insisting you're ready for peace talks is like a man agreeing to sit down for coffee as long as he can keep swinging the hammer. Rubio's answer to that was an invitation to a Florida summit, which is a fine gesture if the point is hospitality rather than an actual ceasefire. Nobody in that room is confused about what's happening, they're just being polite about it in front of the cameras.
Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Vanishing · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky