VOL. I · NO. 8564WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Singapore and S Korea pull Trader Joe's seasoning over poppy seeds

Filed 2w ago · Via BBC · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Merry Go - Distressed
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

Singapore and South Korea have removed Trader Joe's Everything But the Bagel seasoning from online stores because it contains poppy seeds, which are banned in both countries over contamination risk from opiate-laced plant sap. More than 20 listings vanished from Singaporean platforms this week, while Seoul authorities reported the seasoning tested positive for morphine and codeine.

The blend, sold since 2017, also contains sesame seeds, sea salt, minced garlic and minced onion, none of which are illegal anywhere. Singapore's Central Narcotics Bureau has told anyone holding a bottle to dispose of it, invoking a zero-tolerance drug law that treats trace amounts the same as trafficking.

In South Korea, investigators say travelers had been bringing the seasoning home as souvenirs and reselling it, some unaware it was contraband and some fully aware. Police warned that a product's legality abroad means nothing once it crosses the border, which is either a public service announcement or an admission that customs enforcement has bigger problems to chase.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A condiment beloved by brunch enthusiasts everywhere has been reclassified as a controlled substance because of trace amounts nobody can get high on. Zero tolerance is a fine slogan until it's applied to a bagel topping, at which point it starts to look less like vigilance and more like a bureaucracy that couldn't find a better use of its narcotics bureau this week.
Source: Read the original at BBC → Scored: Merry Go - Distressed · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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