VOL. I · NO. 8619TUESDAY, OCTOBER 6, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Drapatyi moves colonels and generals to reserve in major personnel shake-up

Filed 1h ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Meatball Parade
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: European Parliament · CC BY 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Commander-in-Chief Mykhailo Drapatyi has transferred several dozen colonels, brigadier generals and other senior officers to Ukraine's reserve officer battalion, known as BRez, according to Ukrainska Pravda. About 15 officers reportedly left the General Staff's international cooperation directorate in a single day, and named transfers include corps commanders Oleksii Maistrenko and Oleksandr Bakulin, along with other senior figures.

One unnamed source described Maistrenko learning of his own removal from media reports, reportedly asking mid-meeting whether it was true. Drapatyi has simultaneously been reinstating officers sidelined under his predecessor, including Serhii Sobko and Emil Ishkulov, while Air Assault Forces veterans now occupy a notable share of senior posts.

Sources told Ukrainska Pravda that nobody stands in the commander-in-chief's way on personnel moves, though the outlet itself noted that many officers hold posts only in an acting capacity rather than full appointment, a detail that undercuts the claim. Drapatyi took over from Oleksandr Syrskyi in July 2026 and has already scrapped more than 30 old General Staff orders.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When a corps commander finds out he's been reassigned by reading about it instead of being told, that tells you more about how the place runs than any press release ever could. Calling a reshuffle open and unopposed while half the new appointments are only 'acting' is like telling the neighbors your barn's finished when the roof's still tarp and prayer. Shaking up a command structure mid-war might be necessary, but somebody ought to tell the people being shaken.
Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: Meatball Parade · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky