Presidential Message on National Cybersecurity Awareness Month

Filed 1h ago · Via White House · The Buffoon Desk

THIS STORY IS SCORED

Mary Celeste

Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

Photo: Lawrence Jackson · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The White House issued a proclamation for National Cybersecurity Awareness Month, describing cyberspace as a new frontier of American strength and announcing that the Administration has, in its own words, ended an era of weakness in digital security.

The message cites an executive order on cybercrime, a March Cyber Strategy, and a new public-private partnership called GOLD EAGLE, which the statement says will use American Super Intelligence to find vulnerabilities fast. It also credits the First Lady's Presidential Super Intelligence Challenge and Fostering the Future Together initiative with inspiring young Americans.

The proclamation closes with standard advice: strong passwords, software updates, vigilance against scams — guidance available from any IT help desk, now delivered with presidential letterhead.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK

When a man tells you he's ended an era of weakness and then reminds you to change your password, you can guess which half of the speech he wrote himself. Naming a program GOLD EAGLE doesn't patch a single server, any more than painting flames on a lawnmower makes it cut faster. Update your software, sure. Just don't expect the letterhead to do it for you.

Source: Read the original at White House → Scored: Mary Celeste · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0

Read it scored.

Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.

GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID

OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →