VOL. I · NO. 8613WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
CULTURE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Ron DeSantis’ 2 terms in office fundamentally altered Florida’s political landscape, cementing conservative policies through strategic control of state institutions

Filed 1h ago · Via The Conversation · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Vanishing
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Sumitsurai · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Ron DeSantis won his first term as Florida governor in 2018 by roughly 30,000 votes and leaves after eight years having reshaped the state through expanded executive power, according to a political scientist's analysis. He used line-item veto authority to discipline lawmakers, once stripping $4 million from Manatee County's budget and ordering a state audit after local voters rejected his preferred candidates.

DeSantis has renewed a declared immigration emergency every 60 days since January 2023, using it to spend over $1 billion on detention facilities including Alligator Alcatraz, built on protected Everglades land through no-bid contracts, where a visiting member of Congress described conditions as cruel. Florida's COVID-19 record is mixed: the state ranked 26th in per-capita deaths early on, climbed to eighth after later waves, and recorded over 100,000 COVID deaths by 2025.

He also remade the university system through board appointments, most visibly at New College of Florida, where the state's education commissioner said he hoped to build the 'Hillsdale of the South,' and enacted parental-rights education laws, private school vouchers, a six-week abortion ban, and legislation targeting LGBTQ residents.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Winning by 30,000 votes and governing like you got 90 percent of them is one way to do the job, you just don't get to call it a mandate afterward. Calling something an emergency for three straight years starts to look less like an emergency and more like a preference dressed up in a siren. Whatever you think of the policies, the way he got them done deserves the closer look it's getting here.
Source: Read the original at The Conversation → Scored: Vanishing · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky