VOL. I · NO. 8590MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Biletskyi films video in Sviatohirsk to refute Putin’s capture claim

Filed 1h ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Comic Hero
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Photograph by Mike Peel (www.mikepeel.net). · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Third Army Corps commander Andrii Biletskyi recorded a video from the center of Sviatohirsk in Donetsk Oblast to rebut Vladimir Putin's Sept. 1 claim that Russian forces had captured the city, telling Russian officials to 'take off your clown noses.'

The Institute for the Study of War said Putin's claim was unsupported by evidence, noting Russian forces had advanced only to about 13 kilometers from the city at their closest and are likely farther away now amid Ukrainian counteroffensive activity near Lyman.

The Donetsk Regional Military Administration said in early August that Sviatohirsk remained under Ukrainian control despite constant shelling, with local officials continuing to work under difficult security conditions.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When the head of an army has to make a video just to prove a city hasn't fallen, you learn something about how much weight to put on the other side's press releases. A man standing in a public square beats a claim shouted from a podium in Moscow every time. Believing the ground under your own boots is not a high bar, but apparently it still needs demonstrating.
Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: Comic Hero · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire