VOL. I · NO. 8606WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Arizona accuses kratom, kava company of hiding addiction risks

Filed 1h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Scheming Weasel faster
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Laima Gūtmane (simka… · CC BY-SA 3.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Arizona sued Botanic Tonics, maker of the ‘feel free’ drink, alleging the company hid the addiction risks of kratom, an opioid-like substance, behind marketing that describes the two-ounce drink as a natural kava-based energy tonic. The state says the drink is sold widely in gas stations and convenience stores and cites 146 documented kratom deaths in Arizona between 2020 and 2023.

The complaint alleges consumers reported drinking up to seven bottles a day and suffering withdrawal, while founder Jerry Ross allegedly knew of the addictive effects from his own use and customer feedback before and after launch. The FDA has separately warned against using both kratom and kava recreationally, and the DEA banned three kratom derivatives in August, though not the one in this product.

Arizona accuses the company of packaging the drink to resemble energy shots and marketing it to young adults and the ‘sober curious’ through influencers, without disclosing risks including depression, hallucinations and substance use disorder. The state is seeking a court finding of consumer fraud and a ban on the misleading marketing.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Calling a drink with an opioid-like kick just a kava tonic is a bit like selling moonshine as flavored water and hoping nobody reads the label close. If the founder tried it himself before launch and liked it enough to sell it anyway, that tells you plenty about who he expected to bear the risk. Seven bottles a day isn't a wellness routine, it's a warning sign wearing a energy-drink label.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Scheming Weasel faster · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky