VOL. I · NO. 8604MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Employees sue global agribusiness following criminal data breach

Filed 1h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Five Card Shuffle
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Jacklee · CC BY-SA 3.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Employees of Archer-Daniels-Midland filed a class action after a cybercriminal group called Qilin stole and posted employee data, including Social Security numbers and driver's licenses, to the dark web. Former employee Matthew Ranney's complaint says the company had no effective way to detect or stop the breach and still hadn't notified affected workers as of filing, three days after the hack.

The lawsuit alleges ADM ignored FTC guidelines and skipped basic security measures like encryption, multifactor authentication, and access limits. It estimates at least 100 workers were affected and seeks damages plus injunctive relief.

The suit lands weeks after ADM reported $1.1 billion in pretax earnings for the quarter, up sharply from $279 million a year earlier, driven by margin growth in its agriculture and oilseed businesses.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A company pulling in over a billion dollars a quarter apparently couldn't find room in the budget for a decent password policy. Employees hand over their Social Security numbers as a condition of getting hired, and in return get a dark web listing and radio silence. If margin expansion is the priority, security spending was always going to be the corner that got cut.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Five Card Shuffle · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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