VOL. I · NO. 8567SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Trump, 80, Thirsts Over ‘Young, Beautiful Girls’ in Creepy Rant

Filed 1w ago · Via thedailybeast.com · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Local Forecast - Elevator
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

At a law-and-order rally with New York police officers, President Trump repeatedly described

s who allegedly thank him for making Washington, D.C. feel safer as "young, beautiful girls," recounting an anecdote in which women approach him at the White House to express relief they no longer fear leaving their apartments. He reiterated his claim that D.C. was one of the most dangerous cities before his federal takeover, despite violent crime having already fallen to a 30-year low.

The rally, meant to boost New York Republicans including gubernatorial candidate Bruce Blakeman against Governor Kathy Hochul, also featured Trump threatening to declare the Strait of Hormuz "a territory of the United States" amid the ongoing Iran conflict, describing an American blockade.

Asked separately about USS Abraham Lincoln sailors who have been deployed nearly nine months, amid reports of overboard attempts, inadequate food and broken toilets, Trump replied the deployment hadn't gone on "nearly long enough" before boarding Air Force One.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
An octogenarian president free-associating about beautiful young women in front of the FBI director and a room of police officers is the kind of moment that would end careers if it weren't so routine, and threatening to annex a strait mid-rally didn't even register as the strange part. Meanwhile the actual human cost of the deployment abroad on the Lincoln got a dismissive one-liner and a walk to the plane.
Source: Read the original at thedailybeast.com → Scored: Local Forecast - Elevator · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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