VOL. I · NO. 8567SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Democrats keep South Carolina first, emphasizing diversity in early primaries

Filed 1w ago · Via katc.com · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Evil March
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

The Democratic National Committee confirmed South Carolina will again lead the 2028 presidential primary calendar, followed by Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Michigan and Virginia, with the first primary set for January 22, 2028.

DNC Chair Ken Martin said the calendar 'truly represents' the party, citing that Iowa and New Hampshire are each over 80% white non-Hispanic versus roughly 57% nationally.

The move echoes 2024, when Democrats first elevated South Carolina; New Hampshire held its own primary anyway that cycle under state law, resulting in Biden being omitted from the ballot before the party later allocated delegates through a separate process.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at katc.com → Scored: Evil March · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire