VOL. I · NO. 8585WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Seizures, chest pain and long holds at a Phoenix ICE facility flying under the radar

Filed 50m ago · Via Arizona Mirror · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Amazing Grace 2011
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: President (1981-1989 : Reagan). White House Photographic Off · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

At ICE's midtown Phoenix District Office, agents called 911 eleven times between December 2025 and March 2026 for detainee medical emergencies, including a pregnant 27-year-old with severe abdominal pain who was rushed to the hospital. The facility, meant to hold people no more than 12 hours, has no beds, no on-site medical care, limited food and no detainee-accessible shower.

ICE data obtained by the Deportation Data Project shows average stays climbed to roughly 25 hours in early 2026, more than double the intended limit, up from about 19 hours in 2025 and just 8 to 10 hours before the current administration. A DHS spokesperson called the Mirror's analysis of ICE's own released data false, insisting detainees are quickly processed and transferred elsewhere.

Rep. Yassamin Ansari called for maximum oversight of facilities she says treat people like caged animals, while the ACLU of Arizona says detention standards have shifted toward providing less assistance. Courts have twice ruled ICE cannot block congressional oversight of such facilities, though ICE continues to treat temporary hold sites as exempt.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
There is a particular institutional confidence required to release your own numbers and then call the arithmetic performed on them false, as though the subtraction were the part that broke the law. A facility with no beds and no doctor is not a processing bottleneck; it is a policy, and the policy is that nobody should be able to check. When an agency has to be told twice by a court that oversight applies to it, the third refusal is not a misunderstanding — it is the answer.
Source: Read the original at Arizona Mirror → Scored: Amazing Grace 2011 · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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