VOL. I · NO. 8602SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ABSURDITY:

Sickness Is Spreading Like Wildfire This Fall — Doctors Say These Are The 5 Types Spreading The Most

Filed 1h ago · Via HuffPost · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Plucky Daisy
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Rijksmuseum · CC0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Physicians quoted in this seasonal roundup say respiratory illnesses are climbing as schools reopen, spreading from classrooms to households and workplaces. Common colds driven by rhinovirus and parainfluenza top the list, with pediatricians describing a wave of low-grade fevers, congestion and cough in young patients.

COVID-19 is also rising, according to infectious disease specialists, who describe a now-familiar fall pattern following a quieter summer, with particular activity noted from Texas to Georgia. Adenovirus is mentioned as a secondary concern, capable of causing anything from a mild cold to pneumonia or gastrointestinal symptoms depending on the strain.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at HuffPost → Scored: Plucky Daisy · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky