VOL. I · NO. 8594FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

‘Go home, man. You’re embarrassing.’ U.S. officials are reportedly eager for the CIA director to take over Russia–Ukraine talks from Witkoff.

Filed 43m ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Merry Go - Distressed
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Number 10 · CC BY 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Politico reports that U.S. officials are increasingly eager for CIA Director John Ratcliffe to take over as chief negotiator on Russia-Ukraine talks from Steve Witkoff, even as the White House publicly denies any such plan is underway.

The Financial Times separately reported Ratcliffe would take a larger negotiating role while Witkoff stays involved and Jared Kushner shifts focus to Gaza and Iran; the White House called that report 'totally fake news.'

Sources describe Witkoff's approach as amateurish, citing a meeting with Putin where he mused about retirement memories, drawing an unnamed official's rebuke that he was embarrassing himself. One expert cautioned that swapping negotiators changes little without tougher sanctions or more military aid to Ukraine.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When your own side is calling the point man embarrassing on the record, that tells you something the press office's denial never will. Swapping out one envoy for a sharper one is like changing which cousin negotiates with the bank, the debt doesn't move just because the face at the table does. Watch what Washington does about sanctions, not who gets the new business card.
Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Merry Go - Distressed · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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