VOL. I · NO. 8567SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Republicans worry their chances of keeping Congress are slipping away. Inside the Trump campaign plan to change that

Filed 1w ago · Via cnn.com · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Dance of the Tuba Plum Fairy
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

Trump has approved funneling millions from his personal PAC to vulnerable House and Senate Republicans, with one figure of $30 million floated as a first installment, according to people familiar with the plans described to CNN.

GOP officials privately worry that the Iran war and high gas prices are souring midterm turnout, and some advisers say Trump has waited too long to engage directly, having only now agreed to weekly rally travel.

Republicans are banking almost entirely on turning out Trump's core base rather than winning over independents, whose support has cratered along with his approval ratings.

A White House spokeswoman responded with a statement crediting Trump for the most secure border in history and the lowest murder rate since 1900, without addressing the funding or turnout concerns directly.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When your own advisers are quietly telling reporters the House and Senate are slipping away, a press release about border security and murder rates is not a rebuttal — it's a change of subject. Nothing says confidence in your record like discovering, three months out, that maybe you should start campaigning.
Source: Read the original at cnn.com → Scored: Dance of the Tuba Plum Fairy · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire