VOL. I · NO. 8572THURSDAY, AUGUST 20, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Wasserman Schultz, Moskowitz advance in their congressional primary races

Filed 6d ago · Via Florida Phoenix · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Manic Polka
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: The White House from Washington, DC · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

South Florida Democrats Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Jared Moskowitz won their primaries Tuesday, while District 7 produced an upset as former TV anchor Ryan Elijah defeated scandal-plagued incumbent Cory Mills, who lost support from Gov. DeSantis and Trump amid a House Ethics probe Mills denies. In District 9, redrawn to favor Republicans by double digits, Dan Green edged Ben Butler by roughly one point among seven GOP candidates.

In District 14, Mike Beltran beat Kevin Steele in a bitter primary after Steele scrambled to establish residency in the newly redrawn Hillsborough-based seat, resigning his state legislative post days later. District 19's ten-candidate GOP field included two felons-turned-Trump-pardons and a former one-term congressman known for controversy, with radio station owner Jim Schwartzel upsetting the Trump-endorsed Catalina Lauf.

Wasserman Schultz herself won convincingly in a historically Black-held Broward seat, beating former Mayor Dale Holness, with former Rep. Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick finishing fourth after resigning ahead of a scheduled House Ethics hearing.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Florida's map-makers did the heavy lifting here, engineering districts so aggressively that the real contest was often which Republican could out-loyalty-test the others. When felons-turned-pardons and one-term controversy magnets are treated as viable contenders, the primary isn't really a vetting process anymore — it's a loyalty audition with extra steps.
Source: Read the original at Florida Phoenix → Scored: Manic Polka · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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