VOL. I · NO. 8568SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Democrats elevate states with Black, Latino voters in 2028 primary calendar

Filed 1w ago · Via cnn.com · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Mary Celeste
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: (Official White House Photo by Joyce N. Boghosian) · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The Democratic National Committee approved a new 2028 primary calendar Saturday, keeping South Carolina first on January 22, followed by Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Michigan and Virginia — with Iowa bumped from the early lineup entirely. DNC Chair Ken Martin called it the most diverse calendar in party history, designed to test candidates with Black and Latino voters, groups Trump made gains with in 2024.

Iowa's party chair objected, arguing a rural Midwestern state belongs among the early four, but the calendar passed on a voice vote anyway. New Hampshire, pushed later in the order, may still cause headaches since state law requires its primary to precede others by at least a week.

The vote came amid open grumbling about Martin's leadership and the DNC's finances: the committee has raised $207 million this cycle to the RNC's $279 million, and ended June $2 million in debt versus the RNC's $129 million cash reserve. Martin confirmed a New York Times report that the party asked vendors to delay invoices, calling it 'standard practice,' while insisting he is 'succeeding by every objective measure.'

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Nothing says confident party leadership like rearranging deck chairs on a calendar while asking the caterers to wait on the bill. Martin's self-grade of 'succeeding by every objective measure' is the kind of claim that invites someone to actually check the measures. The diversity rebrand may be smart politics, but it's arriving alongside a debt load that suggests the checkbook needs at least as much strategic reinvention as the primary schedule.
Source: Read the original at cnn.com → Scored: Mary Celeste · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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