VOL. I · NO. 8598TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Small town ‘perennial candidate’ asks Ninth Circuit to let him sue for defamation

Filed 51m ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Merry Go Slower
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Xnatedawgx · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Jonathan Tallman, a Boardman, Oregon coffee shop owner who ran unsuccessfully for four different local offices in four consecutive years, is asking the Ninth Circuit to revive his defamation suit against Dillon Spencer, who accused him online of sexually assaulting minors. A lower court dismissed the case under Oregon's anti-SLAPP law after finding Tallman a public figure who'd need to prove actual malice, a bar Tallman isn't contesting directly, arguing instead that his public-figure status expired the moment his last campaign ended.

Judges Michelle Friedland and Robert Lasnik pushed back hard, noting Tallman gave the community no reason to think his run of candidacies was over and that discussing a repeat candidate's fitness for office remains a live public interest. Tallman's attorney countered that no case law makes public-figure status permanent, while Spencer's attorney argued Tallman never actually withdrew, he just hadn't run again yet, which the panel found a distinction without much difference.

The court didn't indicate when it would rule.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Running for four different offices in four straight years is not exactly the profile of a private citizen minding his own business. A judge asking how the town was supposed to know he'd quit, three months after his fourth try, is just common sense wearing a robe. Some patterns don't need a fifth data point to be obvious.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Merry Go Slower · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky