VOL. I · NO. 8567SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

AP News in Brief at 12:04 a.m. EDT

Filed 1w ago · Via winnipegfreepress.com · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
The Show Must Be Go
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: The White House from Washington, DC · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The USS George Washington is heading to the Middle East following reports of mental health and supply problems aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, which has spent more than 240 days continuously at sea supporting the war against Iran; Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth called reports of the Lincoln's conditions 'completely misrepresented' and said the Navy can maintain its blockade of Iranian ports indefinitely. Luigi Mangione pleaded guilty to federal stalking charges in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, describing shooting Thompson on a Manhattan street in December 2024 and admitting he used a 3D-printed gun and posed as an investor to track him down; prosecutors will seek life in prison at his December sentencing.

The Trump administration asked the Supreme Court to let construction continue on the White House's $400 million ballroom while it appeals a court ruling that found Trump lacked authority to build the 90,000-square-foot addition without congressional approval; the solicitor general called the halt an obstruction of a 'vitally required' national security project. Separately, a suspect was arrested after the words 'Clean hands dirty $' were spray-painted on the World War II Memorial and a fountain was filled with bubbles, with U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro filing felony charges carrying up to 10 years in prison.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Calling a ballroom addition to the White House a 'vitally required' national security asset is the kind of sentence that should get a person a raised eyebrow rather than a Supreme Court filing, but here we are. Three separate stories today feature the administration insisting things are not what a court, a Democrat, or a plain reading of events suggests they are. That is at least a consistent editorial position, even if it isn't a persuasive one.
Source: Read the original at winnipegfreepress.com → Scored: The Show Must Be Go · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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