VOL. I · NO. 8596SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Putin says Moscow has no intention of threatening Europe, then warns that European troops in Ukraine ‘would mean war with Russia’

Filed 1h ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Aunt Tagonist
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: William Merritt Chase · CC0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Russian President Vladimir Putin said Russia has no intention of threatening European countries, dismissing what he called claims by ‘European elites,’ while accusing Europe rather than Russia of wanting to change the post-Soviet status quo. In the same remarks, he warned that European troops deployed to Ukraine ‘would mean war with Russia.’

The statement comes amid growing concern in Europe, particularly among NATO's eastern-flank members, about potential Russian aggression. Earlier this year, Ukraine, the UK and France signed a declaration of intent envisioning European peacekeepers in Ukraine after a peace deal, a proposal that faded once broader peace talks between Russia, Ukraine and the US stalled.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Telling the neighbors you mean them no harm while also promising war if they set foot near your fence line is not reassurance, it's a threat wearing a friendly hat. Nobody who's watched this particular movie before is fooled by the order the sentences come in. The peacekeeping plan faded once the talks did, which tells you which part of this story everyone actually believed.
Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Aunt Tagonist · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky