VOL. I · NO. 8597MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Alaska judge clears way for gold mining within national park

Filed 2h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Comic Plodding
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: William Merritt Chase · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

A federal judge in Alaska ruled that the Army Corps of Engineers acted lawfully in approving Contango Ore's plans to build a road, airstrip and tunnel on the Johnson Tract, private land surrounded by Lake Clark National Park, clearing the way for gold and mineral mining. Judge Sharon Gleason acknowledged risks including airplane noise, acid drainage and contamination of Cook Inlet, home to an already-endangered beluga whale population, but found the Corps' review process wasn't arbitrary or capricious.

Environmental groups including the Center for Biological Diversity had argued the Corps skirted its obligations under the Endangered Species Act, NEPA and the Clean Water Act. Gleason ruled those wildlife concerns weren't yet triggered by the narrower infrastructure approval under review. The land is leased from Alaska Native corporation Cook Inlet Region Inc.; neither side commented after the ruling.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Nobody in this ruling actually said the whales are fine, they just said the paperwork was filled out correctly. That's a low bar for a court to clear and a lower one for a beluga to survive on. The mining company gets its road and tunnel now; the whales get to find out later whether the acid drainage was as theoretical as it looked on paper.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Comic Plodding · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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