VOL. I · NO. 8591TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Modifying the Scope of Products of Canada Subject to the Additional Duties Imposed to Offset Canadian Discrimination Against the United States with Respect to Motor Vehicles

Filed 13h ago · Via White House · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Four Beers' Polka
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Rijksmuseum · CC0 · via Wikimedia Commons

A new presidential proclamation adjusts which Canadian auto and auto-parts products face a 50 percent tariff, the latest turn in a dispute the White House itself set in motion with a July finding that Canada discriminates against U.S. motor vehicle commerce.

The document recounts its own recent history: duties imposed in July, suspended for three days in August after Canada 'expressed a commitment' to change course, then reinstated when Canada allegedly reneged and stopped negotiating in good faith. Senior executive branch officials, unnamed and unquestioned, are cited as the source for the finding that modifying the tariff scope will indeed offset the burden on U.S. commerce, just as the original tariffs supposedly already did.

The proclamation asserts, without elaboration, that shifting some products onto the list and others off it is required by the public interest and consistent with the interests of the United States, phrases repeated so often in the text they start to function as punctuation rather than argument.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
You have to admire the bookkeeping. A man starts the fight in July, calls a truce in August that lasts about as long as a bag of ice in the driveway, then writes himself a note certifying the whole thing is working. When a paper says “public interest” often enough to wear a groove in the page, somebody upstairs knows the argument is thin.
Source: Read the original at White House → Scored: Four Beers' Polka · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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