VOL. I · NO. 8586THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Florida’s universities are off-limits for anyone in the US ‘unlawfully’

Filed 9h ago · Via Florida Phoenix · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Royal Banana
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: D. Myles Cullen · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

Florida's Board of Governors voted Thursday to bar students unlawfully in the country from enrolling at the state's universities, a measure that received zero board debate and passed on the consent agenda after June's preliminary approval. Public comment was the only forum for opposition, where instructor Roberto Garcia argued the policy tells qualified students their grades and effort don't matter because of their status.

The rule doesn't ban such students outright; it makes them ineligible only at institutions that, for the past two years, didn't admit all academically qualified applicants. A similar policy for the state's 28 Florida College System institutions, including adult education and GED courses, sailed through in June with the same lack of debate.

Gov. Ron DeSantis voiced full support, framing it as prioritizing Florida-raised residents. Roughly 8,000 undocumented students graduate Florida high schools annually, many having attended since childhood, and a 2014 law signed by Gov. Rick Scott previously let them pay in-state tuition.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A rule that skips debate twice, once at the university level and once at the college level, isn't shy, it's just confident nobody with a microphone is going to slow it down. The carve-out language about ‘academically qualified applicants’ does a lot of quiet work for a policy that insists it isn't really a ban. Eight thousand kids a year who grew up going to Florida schools are about to find out how much that distinction matters to them.
Source: Read the original at Florida Phoenix → Scored: Royal Banana · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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